


A Collection of Documents Relating to the Incident on PX3-621

by Wandering



Category: Stargate Atlantis, Supernatural
Genre: Documents, Emails, Gen, Interview Transcripts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-03
Updated: 2015-03-03
Packaged: 2018-03-16 04:24:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3474326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wandering/pseuds/Wandering
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From: evan.lorne@atlantis.mil<br/>To: john.sheppard@atlantis.mil<br/>Subject: AR-8 Mission Report<br/>Message:<br/>Have you read AR-8 mission report yet? If not, you should. As soon as possible. <br/>Attachment: Report_AR8_PX3621.pdf</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Collection of Documents Relating to the Incident on PX3-621

From: [evan.lorne@atlantis.mil](mailto:evan.lorne@atlantis.mil)  
To: [john.sheppard@atlantis.mil](mailto:john.sheppard@atlantis.mil)  
Subject: AR-8 Mission Report

Message:

Have you read AR-8 mission report yet? If not, you should. As soon as possible.

Attachment: Report_SGA8_PX3621.pdf

 

From: [john.sheppard@atlantis.mil](mailto:john.sheppard@atlantis.mil)   
To: [evan.lorne@atlantis.mil](mailto:evan.lorne@atlantis.mil)  
Subject: RE:AR-8 Mission Report

Message:

AR-8 again? At least it can’t be as bad as the time that the older Winchester slept with the chief’s daughter on Nelthen.

 

From: [john.sheppard@atlantis.mil](mailto:john.sheppard@atlantis.mil)   
To: [evan.lorne@atlantis.mil](mailto:evan.lorne@atlantis.mil)  
Subject: RE:AR-8 Mission Report

Message:

I take back everything I just said. This is Pegasus, it can always be worse.

Set up meetings with AR-8 as soon as possible.

 

* * *

 

**Interview with Ann Howick, AR-8 (Transcript)**

_(recording begins)_

SHEPPARD: …tell me about what happened?

HOWICK: Shouldn’t you be asking either of the Winchesters? They were the ones actually involved in the…incident. I didn’t see most of it.

SHEPPARD: I will. I just want to start off with an unbiased picture of the events.

HOWICK: Um…alright. Where would you like me to start?

SHEPPARD: From the beginning of the mission. Pretend I haven’t read the report. Give me all the details you think are important.

HOWICK: Right. Well, yesterday morning we- that is- Sam and Dean Winchester, Marcus Breen and me- gated to PX3-621. There were some Ancient ruins there that SGA-2 had flagged as interesting when they first visited the planet, and Dr. Weir wanted us to see if we’d be able to start trading with the natives. They make a lightweight, but warm, fabric using the fibers of some local plant.

SHEPPARD: Useful.

HOWICK: (nods) Yeah, should be. We’ll get the first shipment in about a week, so I guess we’ll see then.

McKAY: Wait, wait, so after everything that happened the natives agreed to trade with you? Are they-

SHEPPARD: Rodney, what part of “You can sit in to the debriefs as long as you stay quiet” did you not understand?

HOWICK: We decided to stop by the village first, especially since it was on the way to ruins. Sam and I met Respected Denlith- he’s the village leader- and he said that we were welcome to go to the ruins and look around, but that we should try and be back before nightfall.

SHEPPARD: Did he say why?

HOWICK: Not really. Sam asked, but all he did was mumble something about how he didn’t want us to break our legs tripping over tree roots in the dark. We mentioned that we had flashlights, but that didn’t seem to reassure him either.

SHEPPARD: Huh.

HOWICK: It seemed a bit weird, but the Respected Denlith mentioned something about having a feast that night to “welcome our new friends, and discuss trading opportunities.” That made a bit more sense, since he wouldn’t want us to be late to that.

SHEPPARD: It didn’t strike you that anything strange was going on?

HOWICK: Not really. I mean, this is Pegasus, and this seemed like one of the more normal societies we’d visited. No one was trying to kill us for having stepped on the sacred flower, the Respected wasn’t trying to set Sam up with his very eligible niece or daughter, we didn’t have to perform a single exorcism, and there were no uncomfortable team bonding rituals.

McKAY: Exorcisms? How primitive are –

SHEPPARD: (louder, over McKay) I know what you mean. Where were Dean Winchester and Breen at this point?

HOWICK: Breen was sitting down on someone’s front porch, trying to fix a glitch in the life signs detector. It kept resetting itself every few minutes unless a natural gene user was holding it.

SHEPPARD: Breen had the gene therapy, right?

HOWICK: Yeah, so he was getting really frustrated, and in an even worse mood than usual. There was a moment there where I think he was ready to stab the thing with his screwdriver.

McKAY: Typical. Some people-

SHEPPARD: Where was Dean Winchester?

HOWICK: I’m not sure exactly where. He had gone off to wander around the town. At the time, I thought it was to introduce himself to the locals, flirt, and try and get information that would make trading easier, but in retrospect, I’m not sure. He came back about ten minutes after we finished talking to Denlith, and whispered something to his brother. I couldn’t catch what.

SHEPPARD: How did Sam react to whatever he said?

HOWICK: He looked worried for a moment, and asked if Dean was sure. Dean said he wasn’t positive, and while it was unlikely, it was plausible. They talked quietly for a few minutes after that, and I couldn’t really hear what they were saying, although I think Sam said something about “the family business.”

SHEPPARD: Interesting.

HOWICK: Dean eventually decided that we’d go on to the ruins, but be more cautious than usual. He made Breen give me the life signs detector, since he hadn’t been able to fix it yet.

SHEPPARD: I take it Breen wasn’t too happy about that?

HOWICK: Breen is rarely happy about anything, but yeah, he was more annoyed than usual.

SHEPPARD: He gave you the detector because you’ve got a natural expression of the gene, right?

HOWICK: Yeah. It’s why I was chosen to come on the Expedition in the first place, and the reason I actually got assigned to an off world team. I’m a linguist and a light switch. I can read Ancient and turn on their devices.

SHEPPARD: Seems like a useful combination. Less likely to blow things up by accident. Neither Winchester has the gene, do they?

HOWICK: No. Dr. Beckett’s gene therapy didn’t take for either of them, and apparently Sam ended up reacting really badly to it.

SHEPPARD: So what happened next?

HOWICK: We walked to the ruins. I kept my eye on the life signs detector the whole way, but I didn’t really see anything weird.

SHEPPARD: Didn’t really?

HOWICK: I’d occasionally see what looked like something moving at the corner of the screen, but when I checked again, it wouldn’t be there. It was moving too fast for a human, or even a wraith, so I figured it was just a glitch from Breen trying to fix the device.

SHEPPARD: Did anything happen at the ruins?

HOWICK: Nothing out of the ordinary. We looked around, took photos, made notes. I translated most of the inscriptions left on the walls, but none of them directed us to a secret passage leading to a ZPM or anything like that. From what I could tell, it used to be a scientific outpost of some sort, but the Ancients cleaned it out pretty well when they left.

McKAY: What a surprise. The Ancients being unhelpful, again.

HOWICK: After that, we walked back to the village.

SHEPPARD: Were there any problems or anything strange with the detector this time?

HOWICK: No, but the Winchesters both seemed pretty tense. They kept their hand on their weapons, and we made it back to the village.

SHEPPARD: In time for the feast?

HOWICK: Yeah, although it was probably closer to a modern reception than the medieval banquet I had been expecting. Well, except for the clothes. There were tables all around the room with trays of food, and people were just grabbing stuff off those, chatting and moving around the room. That’s why it took me so long to realize the Winchesters weren’t there.

SHEPPARD: What happened next?

HOWICK: I went looking for Breen, since I didn’t really want to be all on my own at the party.

SHEPPARD: Breen wasn’t there either?

HOWICK: He had stepped out a few minutes ago to get a breath of fresh air, and probably to try and see some owls, or whatever sort of nocturnal birds this planet had. He’s really big into birdwatching.

SHEPPARD: Did he see any?

HOWICK: I don’t actually know. Everything happened pretty fast when I got outside. I was looking around for Breen, trying to figure out where he went, when I saw some sort of lights on the other side of the building, and what almost sounded like screams or cries. I got out my gun and started walking towards it, when all of a sudden the light got brighter and I heard Breen yell something.

SHEPPARD: Did you manage to catch what he said?

HOWICK: It was nothing I’d repeat in polite conversation. Then the thing came around the side of the building, and I think I said something similar.

SHEPPARD: What were your first impressions of the creature?

HOWICK: Well, it was on fire.

McKAY: Can people from the soft sciences not make observations apart from the glaringly obvious, or do we need real scientists for that?

HOWICK: It was a tall humanoid figure. It didn’t look like a wraith – no long hair or creepy mask, and it wasn’t wearing leather or anything. My first thought was that somehow one of the villagers got set on fire or something, but then Sam and Dean came around the corner carrying some sort of flame thrower, so I changed that to that _we_ had set one of the villagers on fire.

SHEPPARD: Well, that’s a new one.

HOWICK: I thought we were fu- in a lot of trouble, but then I heard the cheering. The villagers had all come out the feast hall – I guess they saw the light, or more likely heard the swearing – and they were all celebrating. I heard one person say, “They did it! They killed Respected Palleth!”

SHEPPARD: So they were happy we killed one of them. How were the Winchesters acting during all this?

HOWICK: Pretty calm, all things considered. I think Dean might have said something about, “Just doing our job,” and then Sam causally brought up the trade negotiations. Well, the villagers were so grateful that the Winchester had killed….whatever it was, that they agreed to everything we wanted. After that, we gated back to Atlantis.

SHEPPARD: Okay, I think we’re all done here for now. I might have more questions later, so don’t head off world.

HOWICK: Alright, thanks.

 

* * *

 

From: [john.sheppard@atlantis.mil](mailto:john.sheppard@atlantis.mil)   
To: [elizabeth.weir@atlantis.mil](mailto:elizabeth.weir@atlantis.mil)  
Subject: Minor Diplomatic Incident

Message:

It appears one of our gate teams might have caused a minor diplomatic incident on a visit to PX3-621. I’ve set up meetings to talk to the team members, and I’ll let you know more once I’ve conducted the rest of the debriefs.

 

From: [elizabeth.weir@atlantis.mil](mailto:elizabeth.weir@atlantis.mil)   
To: [john.sheppard@atlantis.mil](mailto:john.sheppard@atlantis.mil)  
Subject: RE: Minor Diplomatic Incident

Message:

When you say “Minor Diplomatic Incident” do you mean something more along the lines of someone calling the leading merchant’s wife fat, or someone accidently blowing up the culturally/religiously significant Ancient heirlooms in an attempt to find out what they do?

 

From: [john.sheppard@atlantis.mil](mailto:john.sheppard@atlantis.mil)   
To: [elizabeth.weir@atlantis.mil](mailto:elizabeth.weir@atlantis.mil)  
Subject: RE:RE: Minor Diplomatic Incident

Message:

That was only the one time.

This is more along the lines of setting someone on fire with an improvised flamethrower, but all the villagers being really happy about it.

 

* * *

 

 

**Interview with Marcus Breen, AR-8 (Transcript)**

BREEN: I want a transfer.

SHEPPARD: What?

BREEN: I want a transfer off AR-8.

SHEPPARD: Are you sure? There aren’t any open spots on any gate teams, and it might be a while before one opens up again.

BREEN: I don’t care if I never go off world again. I don’t care if I’m assigned to help Richards with his exploding circuitry experiments. I. Want. Off. S. G. A. 8.

SHEPPARD: Why?

BREEN: AR-8 is the team that weird things keep happening to.

McKAY: Right, because your team was the one to awaken a race of aliens who want to eat us. No, wait, that was Shepard. Was your team was the one who encountered the planet of the mind invading mist beings? No, that was SGA-1. What about the planet of the children who kill themselves at 25? Also SGA-1!

BREEN: All of those-

McKAY: It’s not like anyone on your team has ever even started to transform into a bug or has had to share a body with –

SHEPPARD: McKay!

BREEN: SGA-1 encounters weird things that are normal for Pegasus. They have to do with the wraith, or are in reactions to cullings.

SHEPPARD: And AR-8…?

BREEN: Sees things that tend to freak the natives out.

McKAY: I thought the wraith did that pretty effectively.

BREEN: That’s not what I mean. They know the wraith. They’ve encountered them before. They’re a part of life in Pegasus. A terrifying, vicious part of life, but still relatively normal.

SHEPPARD: So these abnormal things that AR-8 keeps having to deal with are…?

BREEN: There was that time with the black smoke on PX3-112, or that time we were flung around the room on MX3-421, not to mention this last mission where the Winchesters set someone got set on fire! You get the descended ancients who want to sleep with you, AR-8 gets the natives who think they’re witches and want to kill you!

McKAY: Kirk.

BREEN: ( _shouting)_ And the Winchester! They’re insane! Nothing ever surprises them, not even when someone starts coughing up nettles or things go flying around the room without anyone there. They seem almost happy! And have you seen what they carry off world? Rock salt and silver knives and machete! There’s something not right about those two.

SHEPPARD: Alright, if you could just answer a few of our questions, I’ll get you transferred back to Engineering on a full time basis. I’m sure Zelenka will be very happy to have you back.

_(Coughing sound from McKAY)_

BREEN: Fine.

SHEPPARD: Howick said that the life signs detector wasn’t working when you arrived on PX3-621.

BREEN: I bet she didn’t tell you the reason it was broken was that she spilled coffee on it when we were in the jumper last week.

McKAY: So even though it had been a week, you still weren’t able to repair it?

BREEN: Well, we can’t all be Rodney McKay.

McKAY: Clearly.

SHEPPARD: _(loudly)_ Anyway, was there any reason to think it might cause some display glitches at that point?

BREEN: No, that had never been the problem. The detector was working properly, as long as someone with a natural expression of the gene held it. It declined to work for anyone who had the gene therapy. I believe that the coffee had damaged part of the protein reading mechanism so that-

McKAY: Yes, yes, we all know the theory behind how the detectors work.

SHEPPARD: Not all of us are scientists here, Rodney.

McKAY: It’s simple. Even a –

SHEPPARD: Another time.  So what you’re saying, Dr. Breen, is that as long as someone who was born with the ATA gene was holding it, the life signs detector should have been working like normal?

BREEN: Yes.

SHEPPARD: So if someone saw something that looked like it was moving pretty fast in the forest-

BREEN: Then there was actually something there. The fact that it was around to get set on fire later was another giveaway.

SHEPPARD: You saw that happen, didn’t you?

BREEN: Yes. I had been inside at the reception, but it was getting pretty hot in there. Earlier, one of the locals had mentioned something about a special type of nocturnal bird that lived in the forest nearby, so I decided to step out and see if I could catch a glimpse of it.

SHEPPARD: What happened next?

BREEN: I left by the back door. I remember because I had to step over this funny symbol thing to get to the path that led around the building.

SHEPPARD: A symbol? What did it look like?

BREEN: It was some sort of glyph, I wasn’t really paying attention to it. I was going point it out to Howick later, but I never had a chance.

SHEPPARD: When did you start to realize what was going on?

BREEN: About five minutes later, I think. I saw a flicker of movement that I thought might have been the filloneen – that’s the bird I mentioned earlier – so I was staring into the forest when I saw what looked like fire, and heard shouts.

SHEPPARD: Did you have any idea where the Winchester were at this point.

BREEN: You mean before they came running out of the forest, chasing that…thing with their flamethrowers? No, I didn’t. I knew they weren’t at the reception though.

SHEPPARD: And this didn’t seem odd at all?

BREEN: I figured Dean Winchester was probably off having “diplomatic relations” with one of the local girls.

SHEPPARD: And Sam?

BREEN: I though he was probably somewhere quiet wrapping up the negotiations. He’s good at getting people to trust him, and at getting what we need, so he usually handles that.

SHEPPARD: Okay, what happened next?

BREEN: That creature came running out from between the trees, with the Winchesters right behind it. One of them managed to get a shot it with their flamethrower- I’m not sure who – and thing screeched. It turned, and started heading towards the front of the building, but collapsed before it got there.

SHEPPARD: Howick said the villagers were there?

BREEN: I didn’t notice when they came out, but they were there by the time that thing was on the ground.

SHEPPARD: What sort of mood were they in?

BREEN: Happy, actually. I guess that makes sense, since they thought it was some kind of monster.

SHEPPARD: You asked them?

BREEN: I said something along the lines of “That wasn’t a wraith”. I didn’t mean to say it out loud but I must have, because the Respected, who was standing behind me, heard me. He said “Indeed no. That was a flesh eater, not a life eater. While they both prey on us, I think of the two, this scares me more. It shows how far we might fall.”

SHEPPARD: So he was implying…

BREEEN:…that the thing was once human, yes.

SHEPPARD: Howick said it didn’t look human.

BREEN: It looked about as human as a wraith. Maybe less, it was a little hard to tell, seeing as it had been burnt to a crisp by this point. I asked the Respected about it, and he seemed surprised that we didn’t have them on our world, especially considering that the Winchester knew how to kill it.

SHEPPARD: So what did you do?

BREEN: I lied. I said that while we did have them on our world, they looked a little different. I also said that I was collecting information about the origins of these creatures to better fight them, so anything he could tell me would be great.

McKAY: That was surprisingly intelligent for-

SHEPPARD: What did he tell you?

BREEN: To be honest, it sounded like a scary story kids tell around the campfire. He said that the creature was once a Respected of a neighboring village. Around a hundred years or so ago, there was a massive crop failure due to some sort of blight. There wasn’t enough food to go around, so the Respected gathered a group of followers who attacked the weaker members of the village and ate them. The rest of the villages banded together and called for help from the other village, and together they were able to kill most of the men involved, but the Respected fled into the mountains. He attacked the villages about every seven years ever since

SHEPPARD: Until the Winchesters came along.

BREEN: Until the Winchesters came, and somehow knew how to kill the thing using improvised flamethrowers made of who-knows-what from their off world kits. There’s something wrong about the two of them.

SHEPPARD: Alright, thank you for your time. You’re free to go. As soon as you submit the paperwork, I’ll have you transferred off AR-8, and back to Engineering on a permanent basis.

BREEN: Thank you. _(Breen leaves the interview room)_

SHEPPARD: You know, if he had hung on three more days, I’d have won the pot.

McKAY: Really? I had him down for leaving a month a half ago.

 

* * *

 

 

 

**Atlantis Betting Pool: Current Bets**

See Georgia Harris in Administration for the current odds, and to place a bet. (Note: putting down money on an event that directly involves you is cheating and is not allowed!)

  *          How many alien or ascended women will proposition Lt. Col. Sheppard this month?
  *          Will the wraith, the replicators, the Genii or someone new be the next group to try and invade Atlantis?
  *          How much longer will Marcus Breen and Ann Howick last on AR-8?
  *          Will Lt. Col. Sheppard find something he can’t fly?
  *          How many explosions in will there be in Engineering this month?
  *          Will Marcia Brun and Etienne Becheux permanently get together or finally break it off for real?
  *          How many more scientists will Dr. McKay reduce to tears this week?
  *          What type of meat is actually in the cafeteria’s meatloaf surprise?
  *          Is there actually a giant monster of some sort lurking on the mainland?



(Note: Coffee beans and chocolate bars are accepted as an alternate form of currency. Check the board near the cafeteria for the current exchange rates)

 

 

* * *

 

**Additional Conversation with Ann Howick**

_(Transcriber’s note: This was not part of the original interview, but was recorded by happenstance after the recording device was accidentally left on after Marcus Breen left the room. Later, Lt. Col. Sheppard noted that using the Ancient recording devices was “not just as easy as thinking on and off, no matter what McKay says.”)_

HOWICK: Colonel Sheppard, do you have a moment?

SHEPPARD: Sure. What can I do for you?

HOWICK: Could you please sign these?

SHEPPARD: You too?

HOWICK: I'd been considering it for a while. I asked, and Dr. Weir offered me a position in Records and Reporting.

McKAY: Right. I'm sure it’s purely a coincidence that this happens right after -

HOWICK: It is. Well, mostly. I've known for a while that I'm not really adding anything to the team. I'm not a scientist, and I barely passed my off world weapons qualification.

SHEPPARD: You're the team linguist though, and diplomatic adjunct, right?

HOWICK: Sam Winchester reads Ancient pretty much as well as I do, and he and Dean do all nearly all of the negotiations.  The only thing I've got going for me on the team is that I've got the Ancient gene, which doesn't really matter at this point. About half the expedition does now, thanks to the gene therapy, and most of them would bring more useful skills to a gate team. 

SHEPPARD: So you're leaving so someone better could take your place on the team? 

HOWICK: No, I'm leaving because it’s what's right for me. I want a job where I'm useful, and where I can grow and take on more responsibilities and things like that.

SHEPPARD: Well, your new position seems like it will be a good fit. _(sound of pen on paper)_ There, your transfer orders are approved.

HOWICK: Thank you. _(Howick exits the interview room)_

SHEPPARD: Great. Do you have any idea how hard it’s going to be to fill two open positions on AR-8?

McKAY: I wonder what the odds were for both of them leaving on the same day.

SHEPPARD: Probably pretty good. 

 

 

* * *

 

From: [john.sheppard@atlantis.mil](mailto:john.sheppard@atlantis.mil)   
To: [evan.lorne@atlantis.mil](mailto:evan.lorne@atlantis.mil)  
Subject: The Winchesters

Message:

Send me summaries of what we have in the Winchester’s files. I want to take another look before the next two debriefs.

From: [evan.lorne@atlantis.mil](mailto:evan.lorne@atlantis.mil)   
To: [john.sheppard@atlantis.mil](mailto:john.sheppard@atlantis.mil)  
Subject: RE: The Winchesters

Message:

There isn’t much. We don’t have anything from before they joined the Atlantis Expedition, except for some basic medical information. Jack O’Neill got them on to the expedition two years ago by calling in a personal favor from Elizabeth.

From what we can tell, neither of them were ever in the military, although even before coming to Pegasus they were both clearly trained to fight. Initially, they were assigned to separate gate teams, but after a series of incidents (see sections 2.1-2.7 in the attached file), they were both assigned to AR-8.

Dean was assigned as leader of AR-8. Originally, Captain Greg Wilcox was supposed to head the team, but due to the Winchester brothers’ authority issues and tendencies to ignore orders, it was decided that it would just be easier to have one of them in charge, instead of dealing with constant insubordination.

The Winchester brothers work together very well, whether in fighting wraith, or persuading the locals to trade with Atlantis. They don’t seem to work as well with the rest of their teammates, or their team mates don’t work well with them. Either way, there’s a fairly constant turn over in the other members of AR-8. The current record is currently held by Pat Hollister from Medical who managed to last four and a half months.

Attachment: Winchester_Dean_Records.pdf, Winchester_Sam_Records.pdf

 

* * *

 

**Interview with Dean Winchester, AR-8 (Transcript)**

D. WINCHESTER: So, I’m guessing this is about the wendigo.

SHEPPARD: The what?

D. WINCHESTER: The crazy cannibal monster we set on fire PX3-621.

McKAY: There’s no such thing as wendigos. They’re just stories that Fort McMurry Beaver Scouts tell in pathetic attempts to scare each other.

D. WINCHESTER: Nope, pretty sure they’re real.

McKAY: You’re a complete moron! How did you ever even get on this expedition in the first place? There are some of the marines that are smarter than you, and that’s saying something!

D. WINCHESTER: Me and Sam did Jack O’Neill a favor, helped him out with a Poltergeist problem a few years ago.

McKAY: Poltergeists don’t-

D. WINCHESTER: Besides, he knew our Dad back in the day. We needed to disappear for a while, and O’Neill suggested this.

SHEPPARD: Why?

D. WINCHESTER: Well, we were on the FBI’s Most Wanted List.

SHEPPARD: Wait, what?

D. WINCHESTER: Also, the angels needed us to carry out the apocalypse. Figured it would be a lot harder for them to find us in another galaxy, since they can’t track us ‘cause of the enochian symbols on our ribs.

McKAY: Enochian isn’t even a real language! It was constructed by that hack-

SHEPPARD: Angels?

D. WINCHESTER: Yep. They’re not really the “peace on earth and mercy mild” type. More like destroy the earth and smite everyone.

SHEPPARD: Ah. So you came to Pegasus to escape from…angels…who wanted you to end the world.

D. WINCHESTER: Yep. It was a way we could still carry on the family business. Besides, scientists really aren’t the type to pray and let them know where we are.

SHEPPARD: The family business?

D. WINCHESTER: Saving people, hunting things. Of course, here the vampires drink your life force instead of your blood.

McKAY: What do you mean here? There are no other types of vampires!

D. WINCHESTER: At least the wraith’ll go down if you hit’m with enough bullets. No need for a machete.

SHEPPARD: A machete? Really?

D.WINCHESTER: Yep. To kill a real vampire you need to take off their head. Doesn’t have to be a machete though. Sammy once took off the head of this one bastard with a length of barbed wire.

SHEPPARD: No stakes or garlic?

D.WINCHESTER: Nah, that’s just TV. Dead Man’s Blood will paralyze them though.

SHEPPARD: Huh. Never heard of that one before.

McKAY: Stop encouraging him!

_(Transcribers note: At this point in the interview, the recorder ceased to properly function as Dr. McKay hit it with his elbow and knocked it on the floor)_

SHEPPARD: _(garbled)…_ think you broke…flailing

McKAY: _(garbled)_ …was not…expression of….

SHEPPARD: ( _garbled)_ …come back later…his brother first.

McKAY: _(garbled)_ …any less crazy…hasn’t reported…how they ever…not all dead…smirking

D. WINCHESTER: _(garbled)_ …luck with that.

  

* * *

 

**Interview with Sam Winchester, AR-8 (Transcript)**

SHEPPARD: So, your brother tells me supernatural creatures are real.

S. WINCHESTER: Ah…well, yes.

McKAY: You cannot seriously believe that too! I thought you had to be cleared by a psychiatrist to even hear about the Stargate, never mind set foot through it.

SHEPPARD: He also mentioned you two were on the FBI’s Most Wanted List.

S. WINCHESTER: Of course he did. _(pause)_ That’s also true.

SHEPPARD: You’re just going to admit that?

S. WINCHESTER: No matter what I said, you were going to check when we next made contact with Earth.

SHEPPARD: And you’d be on it?

S. WINCHESTER: Not the most recent one. The FBI declared us dead a few years ago.

McKAY: Oh great, so you’re not just insane, you’re insane mass murdering, death faking, criminals. Does the SGC even know of the words “security check”? If I’m murdered, do you know what a loss that would be to science?

SHEPPARD: Well, it would be a gain to my patience. And if you don’t stop talking through these interviews, I might kill you myself.

S. WINCHESTER: If it helps, we’re innocent of most of the charges.

SHEPPARD: Most?

S. WINCHESTER: We’ve committed grave desecration a number of times. To get rid of a ghost, you have to salt and burn the bones.

SHEPPARD: Wait, is that what happened on MX3-421? _(Sound of rustling papers)_ I know I just saw that report. Ah, here it is.

  

* * *

 

**AR-8 Mission to MX3-421 Report**

Objective: To make contact with the people of MX3-421 and evaluate the possibilities for future trading opportunities.

Summaries:

Howick, Ann: The mission was largely a success. The people of MX3-421, who call their planet Alveen, are friendly and seem open to trading with Atlantis in the future. They grow a tasteless, but filling, root vegetable that they trade around the galaxy. The people take their ceremonies very seriously, and guests are honored. A person becomes at guest at their welcome ceremony, and stays one until the farewell ceremony is performed. (Future SGA teams should note that Atlantis now has its own goodbye ceremony- see page three for diagrams and details)

There are no signs of Ancient ruins on the planet, but there was an odd incident with things moving around the room in the cottage that we stayed in, that could suggest a piece of Ancient technology, probably buried below ground. More investigation is recommended.

 (Full report on pages 2-5)

Breen, Marcus: Planet has a gravitation anomaly that allows objects to defy the laws of physics and fling themselves around the room. No abnormal readings were captured on any of the equipment, although some devices picked up more background static than usual. This is likely due to the effects of the anomaly. Sending a team of scientists to examine this phenomenon in more detail would be useful.

(Full report on pages 6-10)

Winchester, Dean: People of Alveen seem nice, and are interested in trading with Atlantis. They held us a welcome ceremony with booze and these pieces of bread coated in a spicy sauce. The village leader also tried to get Sam to marry his daughter “to strengthen the bonds between our two people.”

Since it was getting late by then, they let us sleep in an empty cottage that used to belong to an old lady. One of the village children thought that the old lady’s ghost was still haunting the place, so me and Sam took care of it. The next morning they gave us some tea that tasted like cat piss, and then led us back to the stargate. We shook hands, did a dance, and then went home.

(Full report on page 11)

Winchester, Samuel: Alveen is a preindustrial planet, with a medium sized farming community located within ten minutes of the stargate. The people mostly grow a root vegetable that they call “veen”, although some keep a bluish animal that looks almost like a pig.

We were welcomed with a tradition ceremony that is believed to bring good luck to trade missions, and then invited to stay the night. The village leader offered us the use of his mother’s cottage, as she had recently passed away. During the night, we were awoken by objects moving around the room, suggesting the presence of a ghost. One of the village children had mentioned seeing a flickering silhouette of a woman in the house earlier, which supported this idea. Dean and I took care of the ghost.

We left after breakfast the next morning. There was a moment of difficulty when someone realized the earth in their graveyard had been recently turned. They didn’t believe that we had anything to do with it, but they were unwilling to conduct the formal goodbye ceremony without finding out who was to blame. Apparently it would be shameful for the culprit to participate in the sacred right. We talked with the village leaders over a few cups of terrible tea, and thanks to Dean and Ann, who invented an Atlantis goodbye ceremony based on the macarena, we were able to come to a compromise, where we used that instead. 

(Full report on pages 12-18)

Notes: As recommended by Howick and Breen, a survey team of scientists was sent out to the planet, but nothing out of the ordinary was discovered. Dr. Beckett suggests that the objects moving around the room could in fact be a hallucination caused by the ingredients of the spicy sauce that was part of the welcome ceremony. While on PX4-778, SGA-4 experienced vivid hallucinations after consuming a Pegasus variant of hot peppers, so this would not be without precedent.

 

* * *

 

 

**Interview with Sam Winchester, AR-8 (Transcript) Continued**

S.WINCHESTER: Yeah, that was a ghost. Sometimes people’s spirts don’t move along properly when they die, and they get stuck on earth, or I supposed in this case, their home planet.

SHEPPARD: So when you said you took care of the ghost, you didn’t mean you put on a nice little ceremony to reassure the villagers and help that kid sleep at night?

S.WINCHESTER: Even if they were nice in life, ghosts always get mad after death. Salting and burning the bones helps them to move on. Still, this was much easier to deal with than the exorcism.

SHEPPARD: Exorcism?

S. WINCHESTER: _(surprised)_ From PX3-112. I know I mentioned it in my mission report. Dean and I discovered that the governor’s niece was possessed by a demon. We were able to exorcise it using the Roman Ritual and a devil’s trap. The governor was so grateful that he agreed to the trade agreement Dr. Weir wanted for those orange fruits that taste like potatoes.

SHEPPARD: Oh, that. I thought that was a euphuism.

S. WINCHESTER: A euphuism?

SHEPPARD: Yeah, you know, like how “Increased diplomatic ties through interpersonal relations” usually means a member of the gate team ended up sleeping with someone important, or “team building exercise through participation in a traditional cultural ceremony” means that everyone ate a lot of really disgusting food, and ended up naked or stoned. Or both.

S. WINCHESTER: So you thought…

SHEPPARD: Every heard of the phrase “Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answers to”? Well, I really didn’t want to know the answer to this.

S.WINCHESTER: Ah.

SHEPPARD: Do I want to know how many other supernatural incidents you’ve encountered here in Pegasus, and how many of your reports I’m going to have to read again?

McKAY: You cannot actually bel-

SHEPPARD: No, but I would like to know how many potential interplanetary incidences one of my teams may have caused.

S. WINCHESTER: Let’s see… there were the witches on the planet with the acidic seas, the ghosts on MX3-421, the really cold planet with the not-polar bears, and the planet with those weird crystal trees, and I think PX9-224 as well. There was also the wendigo –

SHEPPARD: You know what, how about you just write a list for me after your evaluation with Heightmeyer.

_(knock at the door)_

LORNE: Colonel Sheppard? I have Dean Winchester. He says it’s urgent.

SHEPPARD: Send him in.

D. WINCHESTER: Hiya Sammy. Having fun?

S. WINCHESTER: Loads.

SHEPPARD: What was so important that you had to see me now?

D. WINCHESTER: Well, as much as I was looking forward to a nice, long, one on one session with Heightmeyer, I figured I’d save you all some time and prove we’re not insane.

McKAY: Right, and how are you going to do that? Pull ghost out of thin air?

D. WINCHESTER: Nah, I figured I’d just phone a friend.

S. WINCHESTER: Dean…

D. WINCHESTER: I pray to the Angel Castiel. I’m in that place we talked about before we left, more specifically Interrogation Room 1-C. If he could get his feathery butt down here pronto, that be great.

McKAY: You have got to be kid-

UNKNOWN VOICE: Hello Dean.

McKAY: What! How do you know an Ascended Being?

UNKNOWN VOICE: I am not an Ascended Being. My name is Castiel, and I am an Angel of the Lord.

McKAY: There’s no such –

_(Static and the sound of thunder.)_

McKAY: What the -! Were those wings -! What – ( _Transcribers note: McKAY’s exclamations continued in a similar vein for another five minutes.)_ You can’t just –

_(thud)_

SHEPPARD: McKay! What did you do to him?

D. WINCHESTER: Seriously, you couldn’t have done that three minutes ago?

UNKNOWN VOICE: He is merely asleep. He will wake soon. As for you John Sheppard-

_(static. Silence for around thirty seconds. D. WINCHESTER is whistling in the background)_

SHEPPARD: That was Athos! How did we get there? Then back here? What just happened?

UNKNOWN VOICE: I _am_ an Angel of the Lord

SHEPPARD: Right. Supernatural creatures are real.

D. WINCHESTER: Just wait till you see a demon.

 

* * *

 

 

From: [john.sheppard@atlantis.mil](mailto:john.sheppard@atlantis.mil)   
To: [evan.lorne@atlantis.mil](mailto:evan.lorne@atlantis.mil)  
Subject: AR-8

Message:  
Lorne, I need some suggestions for people who might work on AR-8.  


From: [evan.lorne@atlantis.mil](mailto:evan.lorne@atlantis.mil)   
To: [john.sheppard@atlantis.mil](mailto:john.sheppard@atlantis.mil)  
Subject: RE: AR-8

Message:

What about Parrish or Shrestha? They’re both pretty easy going, and I can’t see either of them casuing any personality conflicts.

  
From: [john.sheppard@atlantis.mil](mailto:john.sheppard@atlantis.mil)   
To: [evan.lorne@atlantis.mil](mailto:evan.lorne@atlantis.mil)  
Subject: RE:RE:AR-8

Message:

No, they'd only work on science focused team, and I can't see the Winchesters just standing around guarding them. AR-8 has to be a general team. 

 

From: [john.sheppard@atlantis.mil](mailto:john.sheppard@atlantis.mil)   
To: [evan.lorne@atlantis.mil](mailto:evan.lorne@atlantis.mil)  
Subject: RE:RE:AR-8

Message:

Or maybe not. I changed my mind. What if they were a different type of focused team? Not science or military, but killing supernatural creatures.   
  
See if Pat Hollister would be willing to rejoin AR-8. Contact Cadman. Ask her how she feels about a) working with the Winchesters, and b) the supernatural.

 

From: [evan.lorne@atlantis.mil](mailto:evan.lorne@atlantis.mil)   
To: [john.sheppard@atlantis.mil](mailto:john.sheppard@atlantis.mil)  
Subject: RE: RE: RE: AR-8

Message:

The supernatural?

 

From: [john.sheppard@atlantis.mil](mailto:john.sheppard@atlantis.mil)   
To: [evan.lorne@atlantis.mil](mailto:evan.lorne@atlantis.mil)  
Subject: RE:RE: RE: RE: AR-8

Message:

More things that want to kill us. But this is Pegasus, so same as usual. 

 


End file.
